You may be surprised to hear it, but I do occasionally like to step aside from my duties as head of the nation’s leading cut-price international telephone calls company, viz Cherry Call.
There are indeed moments when, smooth-running vessel that it is, your truly can take his hand from the tiller and enjoy a few moments of what those soppy American types would doubtless call ‘me time’ or something equally annoying.
As any successful business giant will tell you, it’s important that we gurus seek inspiration from outside our own sphere of money-saving marvellousness. It’s vital we keep our fingers on the pulse of the world at large lest we miss out on the latest opportunity to help our customers battle against the rapacious forces of BT and their ilk.
To this end I was enjoying some late-night coverage of the Commonwealth Games. I hadn’t heard of it, to be honest, but it seems to be a charity sports event organized by the countries who never win anything at the Olympics.
So all those plucky nations that never get a look in when the Americans or the Chinese or Russians are involved, get a chance to stand on the winners’ podium and sing their strange and obscure national anthems with heart-warming gusto.
I stumbled across highlights of the ladies’ pole vault. And I wasn’t the only one stumbling, that evening. Some of the competitors could barely carry the large stick that they used to jump over another stick with. My heart was in my mouth on several occasions as the poor gals staggered to the start, teeth gritted, and splashed up the rain-drenched Glaswegian runway to attempt their third vault at four foot two.
But…(and this is the point where my so-called PA, Loretta, would normally pop up with one of her withering comments about me being sounding like a pretentious vicar or something, but luckily she’s on another yachting holiday with Rupert or Aloysious)…these plucky athletes have a lesson for every one of us who works constantly to provide cheaper and cheaper international phone calls for our customers.
And that lesson is, quite simply, Never, Ever, Give Up.
There is always an extra half-penny to be shaved off a call to mobiles in Guam. Stick at it and you can always find even more savings on landline calls to Eritrea, Tonga or Laos. Persevere and you can always save Cherry Callers even more of their hard-earned dosh.
Even though it was after eleven at night, and the buffalo-esque snores of Mrs J were already rattling the neighbours’ windowframes, I leapt from the sofa and called our head boffin Mr Yashimoto, commanding him to get on the case forthwith.
And true to form, before the sun had popped its sleepy head over the horizon (I’m quite enjoying Loretta being away, she’d have retyped this bit) the marvelous Mr Y had found a whole host of extra savings for you, dear customer.
|Afghanistan||Down to 20p|
|Argentina||Down to 3p|
|Bhutan||Down to 5p|
|Bhutan Mobile||Down to 5p|
|Brazil Mobile||Down to 4p|
|Cyprus Mobile||Down to 2p|
|Dominican Republic||Down to 1.5p|
|Eritrea||Down to 20p|
|Eritrea Mobile||Down to 15.3p|
|Ethiopia||Down to 25p|
|Greece Mobile||Down to 1p|
|Guam Mobile||Down to 25.5p|
|Ivory Coast||Down to 18.4p|
|Jamaica Mobile||Down to 13.3p|
|Paraguay Mobile||Down to 5p|
|Reunion Mobile||Down to 3p|
|South Korea Mobile||Down to 1p|
|Vietnam||Down to 6p|
Naturally, all these rates are per minute, and apply all day every day. Find out all our very latest rates and the Cherry Call access numbers you need to get them, by clicking through to the main Cherry Call site.