At least I think that’s how one spells it. It’s not a word (if indeed it is a word) I’ve had to type before. Indeed, it’s not a word I’ve heard uttered from the ruby red lips of my glamorous assistant Loretta de Cerise before.
But there it was this morning. An unmistakable gutteral outpouring of unbridled primeval animal lust, emanating from the erstwhile cool-as-cucumer countenance of Miss Cerise.
Assuming she was merely commenting in a rather OTT way about the latest round of price reductions on overseas calls using Cherry Call, I paid little notice.
Until she did it again. It was, I have to confess between you and I dear reader, a trifle unsettling. Here at Cherry Towers we pride ourselves on a certain sang froid.
Whilst I appreciate that the amount of money you can save by using us for your international calls is enough to get anyone a tad hot around the collar region, we do try and keep a lid on it during office hours. We are British, after all.
“Good grief, Loretta”, I cried, “what on earth has got into you this morning? You’re used to hearing about our startling price reductions every month by now, surely?”
(Mind you, we’ve got quite a tasty bunch this month, it has to be said, especially on calls to mobiles. You can find all our latest deals by clicking here.)
I read out a few to Loretta, viz:
- Bahrain: fixed lines down to 1.5p a minute
- Colombia: fixed lines down to 1.5p a minute
- Croatia: calls to mobiles reduced by over 5p a minute
- France: calls to mobiles down to 2.5p a minute
- Ireland: calls to o2 and Vodafone mobiles down 2p
- Kenya: calls to mobiles down 2p
- Malaysia: calls to mobiles down to 1.5p a minute
- Portugal: calls to mobiles down to 4p
- Sweden: calls to mobiles down to 2.5p a minute
- Turkey: calls to mobiles down from 9p to 2.5p
- Yemen: calls to mobiles reduced by 1p a minute
- New Zealand: calls to mobiles down another 1p
Naturally, these exciting prices seemed to stir her somewhat from her reverie:
“New Zealand? That’s where they are! They’re gorgeous!”
I had to admit the savings were decidedly attractive.
“Not the savings, the kiwis!”
Now, I know Loretta is no stranger to a bowl of birdseed for breakfast and a lettuce leaf for lunch – you don’t get curves like hers by bingeing on the burgers. But I’ve never seen a small green fruit raise such colour in her cheeks before.
“Not the fruit – the rugby team!” Her tone was verging on the pitying now. “The All Blacks! Look at them! Look at This pic in the paper today – look at those muscles, the tight shirts, the tight shorts..phwooo…”
STOP PHWOARING LORETTA! I apologised for raising my voice a smidgeon at this juncture. But I’d realised the object of her salivation was a large picture of several burly rugby players in the newspaper. Kiwis who are, so I learned, hosting the World Cup.
“You can call New Zealand for only 1p a minute, you know, with Cherry Call,” I reminded her. “Who else is playing?”
“Australia are one of the favourites”
“A penny a minute with Cherry. Who else?”
“Also a penny!” I was quite cheered by the interesting turn our chat had taken. “Who else?”
“France, of course. And South Africa”
“A penny to call France and 2p to South Africa. That’s all day, every day don’t forget!”
“I hope you don’t mind me saying but, perhaps, just every now and then, once in a while, from time to time, you might like to try getting out a little more?”