Cherry Call Newsletter October 2013

Our new 0.5p call rate to Germany. (Please don’t tell my wife.)

You can keep your skinny supermodels. And your surgically-enhanced Hollywood superstar leading-lady flibbertijibbets.

I know we red-blooded, testosterone-fuelled males are supposed to get all hot and bothered at the sight of Kate Thingy looking like a stick insect in drag. And I perfectly understand why some chaps get all a-fluster at the very mention of Scarlett Oojamaflip’s name and a glimpse of her admittedly comely bosom.

But for me, they simply don’t cut the mustard.

“Are you trying to tell us you’re gay, Robin?” That was my viper-lipped so-called PA, Loretta, adding her unwelcome 2p’s worth as usual. I try not to respond to these ‘jokes’. It only encourages her.

Where was I? Oh Yes.

Whilst the only thing that gets me truly, madly, deeply excited is a cracking new price reduction on international phone calls – like the ones I’m just about to tell you about if Loretta will stop interrupting – I have to admit that there is one woman who, for me, towers above the rest (albeit in a strictly metaphorical way – is that the word, Loretta?).

(And by the way, don’t mention any of this to my beloved, but thankfully at home cleaning the oven, Mrs J. She’s got a nasty turn of temper and I think she might get the wrong end of the stick. I hate the sight of blood, especially my own.)

I refer, of course, to that stupendous paragon of international stateswomanship: the wise, witty and, above all, extremely stonking Chancellor of Germany, Angela Merkel.

She makes our own Iron Lady, Mrs Thatcher, look positively wishy-washy. I admire the way Angela clearly cares more about running her country than getting a decent haircut. The way her curvacious, pint-size figure is a rallying call for all those ordinary gals who can’t aspire to supermodel freakishness. Her handbags of yellow, red and black a typically understated display of witty flag-waving.

Even her name, pronounced ‘angular’, is a not-before-time slap in the face to all that simpering Hollywood nonsense that passes for beauty.

And Angela was, I am in no way ashamed to admit, my inspiration for getting CherryCall’s per minute rate for talking to Germany down to its new startlingly low rate.

“Mr Yashimoto”, I called to our chief boffin, “is there any way you can make calling Germany any cheaper? Can you give those grey cells a serious pounding to see if you can find a way to slice an extra smidgeon off our admittedly already rock-bottom price?”

And, bless his little non-matching pair of Uniqlo socks, he did the biz. It’s now just half a pee to call our chums in Germany.

That’s right. I could chat away to dear Angela for hours and hours, knowing I was only spending half a pee a minute. (When Mrs J is visiting her sister in Whitstable, natch.)

Is there no end to young Yashimoto’s international telephonic wizardry? This lot suggests not. They’re all down in price this week…

  • Angola Mobile 5p per min
  • Armenia 6p
  • Armenia Mobile 9p
  • Austria Mobile 2.5p
  • Bahamas 4p
  • Belgium Mobile 1.5p
  • Bermuda 2p
  • Bermuda Mobile 2p
  • Bosnia and Herzegovina 7p
  • Croatia Mobile 7p
  • Egypt Mobile 7p
  • French Guiana 1.5p
  • Georgia Mobile 8p
  • Germany Mobile 2.5p
  • Honduras 8p
  • India Mobile 1p
  • Iraq 8p
  • Israel Mobile 1p
  • Japan Mobile 5p
  • Kazakhstan 3p
  • Kyrgyzstan 8p
  • Malta Mobile 3p
  • Mozambique 4p
  • Mozambique Mobile 7p
  • Netherlands Antilles 7p
  • Netherlands Antilles Mobile 7p
  • Nigeria 4p
  • Norway Mobile 2.5p
  • Saudi Arabia 5p
  • Saudi Arabia Mobile 7p
  • Sri Lanka 7p
  • Switzerland Mobile 8p

Whizz to the CherryCall website to see all our latest smackeroos and how to use our service. Click here to go there now. Hang on, here’s Mr Y again…

“By the way, Mr J, I forgot to say I’ve got Cyprus down to half a pee, too!”.

Ahhh, yes, Cyprus. A word in your shell-like, dear reader: if you do call Cyprus – and at this price, who wouldn’t – best not to mention Angela you know who. They had a little, er, difference of opinion early this year.

Robin James
Managing Director
Cherry Call

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